I think I’m just burned out from all the responsibility of school and I want a long break from that to just sew and knit and sleep and drive around.
Constantly cycling between not wanting to go to college and really wanting to go to college, and it’s the weirdest thing. Part of me still believes in the nonexistent American Dream of being able to go anywhere in this country and make a place for myself and have a job that I won’t hate and make a living. But who am I kidding? It’s 2012. Dreams don’t get you anywhere, motivation does. People who go to college end up working jobs they hate, having careers they hate, never feeling satisfied. Since I don’t really know what I want anymore, I’m not scared of not being satisfied because I’m satisfied wandering and looking and listening. I don’t have goals and I’m just generally content with living in my own little dream land where I don’t need education. I wish I could graduate high school, get a job and work for a while before school. Just to see how that is. But these days, there isn’t time to see what the real world is like because it seems like you get eaten alive if you don’t stay afloat. I’d like to travel. I’d like to go places and talk to people about metaphysics and love. I’d like to work in a soup kitchen and I’d like to walk barefoot on every beach on the West Coast. I wish I had been proactive about my writing or taking pictures or something where I could just be scooped up into an internship that lets me be creative, or I’d just like to lay around in a tent at the top of a mountain and relax.
Society tells me, though, that I’m just being an airy 17 year old girl.
For future reference-
Just because the majority of spoiled girls you know would be willing to live off of daddy’s bank account for the rest of ever, I am not that girl. Just because my parents give me money if I ask does not mean that I don’t want a job. I’d rather earn my money than live off of hand outs.
Also, what you call crazy, psychotic behaviour in others is exactly what is inside of me. I’ve just had a much longer time to learn how to hide it, and internalize my issues. You don’t know what I do, but I now know your judgment.
im waiting for my acceptance/denial too. kill me if i don’t get in.
You’ve got this! Maybe I’ll see you on campus next year ;D
With the UF acceptance/denial date looming over me, I’ve decided that it is okay if I don’t get it.
I’ll go to UNF for one semester then transfer.
And if I go to UNF my parents will give me the truck and money so I can see my boyfriend whenever I want to.
I still hope I get in, though.
derpdaderpdaderp
Maybe one day you’ll grow up and realize that you can’t treat people like shit just because you don’t like them.
In reality, you probably won’t.
