Constantly cycling between not wanting to go to college and really wanting to go to college, and it’s the weirdest thing. Part of me still believes in the nonexistent American Dream of being able to go anywhere in this country and make a place for myself and have a job that I won’t hate and make a living. But who am I kidding? It’s 2012. Dreams don’t get you anywhere, motivation does. People who go to college end up working jobs they hate, having careers they hate, never feeling satisfied. Since I don’t really know what I want anymore, I’m not scared of not being satisfied because I’m satisfied wandering and looking and listening. I don’t have goals and I’m just generally content with living in my own little dream land where I don’t need education. I wish I could graduate high school, get a job and work for a while before school. Just to see how that is. But these days, there isn’t time to see what the real world is like because it seems like you get eaten alive if you don’t stay afloat. I’d like to travel. I’d like to go places and talk to people about metaphysics and love. I’d like to work in a soup kitchen and I’d like to walk barefoot on every beach on the West Coast. I wish I had been proactive about my writing or taking pictures or something where I could just be scooped up into an internship that lets me be creative, or I’d just like to lay around in a tent at the top of a mountain and relax.

Society tells me, though, that I’m just being an airy 17 year old girl. 

1. skippingworklikeastone liked this
2. briaflowers liked this
3. jkellemn0p said: i still think like this and i’ve been out of high school for two years. i know it really isn’t going to get me anywhere, but i’m so content with where i’m at because i have control over a lot of things that i don’t want to leave it.
4. h3ll0al0n3 posted this