Moving out is the only thing keeping me sane right now. This situation at my house keeps getting worse because of my mom and I feel so guilty for the tension right now because it is my fault and I feel guilty for making my mom so upset because she can’t help how her culture and biology has affected her parenting, but at the same time I’ve tried so hard to meet her standards and adhere to her rules but I can only take so much criticism before I crumble. My dad has to put up with it and I feel bad for him because he does his best to keep his peace but it doesn’t work, plus this is horrible for his blood pressure and that’s the last thing he needs.

All of this bothers me on a lot of levels, but the thing I keep thinking about is how I inherited my dad’s anxiety and how I am at high risk for my mom’s depression and that my kids might be in the same situation that I am in right now and that thought alone makes scared enough to not have any children.